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If you were to remarry, what kind of help would you look for in your second
48 Responses
I want an equal, someone who will pull their own weight instead of expecting me to do all of the physical, emotional and mental labor.
I would want help with things that are physically hard for me to do, such as picking up heavy items or doing yard work. I would want help around the house and help with making hard decisions. I would want a husband that is a good communicator and can help with making the best decisions for us. I would want someone who is emotionally supportive.
I'm not sure what type of help you are referring to, but I do have some thoughts about this. I would first look for help with things I can no longer physically do, due to my cancer treatment. Lifting heavy things and vacuuming are the hardest for me. Emotionally, I would look for help in celebrating good things that happen, and someone with empathy for the bad things. Since I am close to retirement, I want someone to help me explore the world and travel. This is what I want to be able to do in my retirement. If I had these things, and enjoyed the person, this would be a great remarriage.
I would look for someone who is loving and understanding, who wants to grow with me, and who knows how to communicate. Intelligence, wit, and humor is always a must too. I would rather stay single than settle for someone I'm not fully compatible with. I am looking for a best friend even moreso than a lover.
"If you were to remarry, what kind of help would you look for in your second" - I am not sure what the rest of the question is? Second spouse? If so, someone who is old, in poor health, has no kids and is extremely rich. I am now ALL the money, I am tired of being poor.
If I were to remarry, I would want someone with a full-time job. This person would help by paying half of the bills, as well as doing half of the chores. We would be a 50/50 partnership.
I would look for someone who is like a soulmate. Someone who would help me without being asked and someone I could have fun with. If you're asking what kind of help in a second wedding it probably wouldn't apply because I would probably not have a ceremony and just get married by ourselves with just a witness or two.
I would look for help in communication. I would look for help in how to make second marriages last.
I would want to know my second spouse is capable of sharing chores equally. No leaving all of the housework to me just because their mom always did the work.
I want them to be honest and someone who likes spending time outdoors and with my grandchildren. It helps if they know how to fix things and be kind to everyone. Not moody or self centered.
That's a big question but I think I've learned enough lessons to make an answer for you. I want someone who makes me complete, who helps me see my faults and works on them with me, someone who is forgiving but stern when needed. I would want someone who helps with gardening, ministry and partial help in finances. We only need enough to survive, I don't look for a life of excess. I'd look for someone who wants to admit their faults so we can work on each other, I think that's what a real relationship is about: compromise and love.
Someone who was a better partner on day to day things like housework and the social obligations of life (not just attending functions and not talking to anyone but also scheduling and taking an active part in social things). Someone who is good about bringing up things in the moment instead of letting conflict and resentment build over time. Someone who has hobbies and interests of their own. Someone who is ok with the gross and unromantic bits of life such as taking care of ill people and parents and pets.
I would expect them to help take care of our life with things that are a difficult for me. I would want them to help clean our home. The same thing I expected of my last spouse. But id put less pressure on them if they didn't want to and how someone.
I would want someone who would challenge me more intellectually. My first is accomplished with an advanced degree and a upper management position, but she never has seen learning for learning's sake and does not have a curiousity about her that I have. Not that this is a problem, most everything else is great. Sometimes I wish she would be more into adventures, but I have other friends that will indulge me with that.
More communication and understanding
Try to make sure I didn't get a man that had a drinking problem. Try to find someone I could really love and stay with, because my past marriages didn't work out.
I'd look for the polar opposite of my current wife. I'd want and need emotional security, loyalty, cleanliness, trustworthiness, and pure love.
I would definitely take my time a lot more than I did the first time around and look for someone more compatible. I would also seek advice from my friends and family who have a lot of valuable input. I would also like help finding a good ring that I can get good value for the money on and also help planning the wedding from a professional in an effort to minimize the stress. Another good idea would be to seek out counseling prior to getting married to see if we could get those issues ironed out first.
I think the question is, if I were to remarry, what kind of help would I look for from my second husband. Does that mean what kind of help would I expect from my second husband? I would expect help if I were sick. For example, if I were sick I would expect him to being me water and food if I needed it, or to go to the pharmacy to get something for me if I needed it. I would expect him to help me move something if it was too heavy for me to move it alone. I would expect him to come and pick me up if my car broke down, or to drive me somewhere if I didn't have another way to get there. Or maybe I misunderstood the question. Maybe you meant what kind of help would I expect in my second marriage. Do you mean help with the marriage, like a marriage counselor? I don't think we would need marriage help. I'm not very demanding, and as long as he is not very demanding, we would be fine. Overall, I would expect to enjoy some things together, and some things apart. No pressure.
My choice would first have to be a friend to me and me to him. He would have to enjoy long walks on park trails and exploring old local history for a start. He would have to like my cooking and baking and appreciate it. And not look down on me nor patronize me. I appreciate help around the house so that is a plus. Also, he would need to be able to drive. I like to drive but get tired of it sometimes and cannot drive at night. Overall, he need to be a good companion. I will appreciate him for that. And last he would need to love my cats, not my family, but my cats.
I would like someone who is good with money. It would be good to have someone likeminded. Life would be easier then.
If I were going to remarry I would be looking for an equal partner in my life. I currently live in an apartment, so if the person and I were compatible and really loved each other, I would hope that we could buy a house and my partner could help me take care of the home and property. After my husband died I found that I wasn't able to do all of the necessary maintenance and I had to sell my home. I miss having a garden and a small house of my own. I would also hope that if I did remarry that my partner would help me with important life and financial decisions. I miss having input from anyone when I am faced with big decisions. I am capable of taking care of myself, but the things I listed are the most important help that I would look for in another marriage.
I absolutely will not remarry. It was just not worth it. I prefer being alone
I would be looking for someone who enjoys cooking and cleaning, enjoys yard work and home maintenance. Someone who is capable of fixing the appliances like the dishwasher or air conditioner would be beneficial as well. I'd also like someone who has carpentry skills so that they can build something like a shed, or a tree house for the kids in the back yard.
An equal partner in bringing in income. Someone that loves me for what I am rather than what I can provide for her.
Someone that is more supportive than my ex. Someone that is more easy going and takes things in stride instead of getting upset. Someone that communicates well. Someone to help share the load and who is always there for me in tough times. A true partnership, where we are both equals, we have lots in common and do things together but we're our own person so we do things separately too, with our friends.
I would look for the kind of help where the other person says, "What can I do to make your life better today?" In other words, help that comes from a place of sympathy, sincerity, love, kindness, devotion, compassion, and a determination to see to it that my life is better. I would like to think I'd reciprocate.
I would want someone who is not at all religious. My first wife took a turn into religiosity and her decision to get closer to God created a giant gulf between her and I. So I want someone I know is not capable of being duped into something so stupid as to believe a man in the sky is watching her and judging her every thought and action. So intelligence, I guess would be what I need most. Empathy would be a close second, as well as consistency so that I know from day to day, month to month, year to year, who that person is and is going to be and she helps me deal with life's surprises rather than contributing to life's surprises.
The type of help that I would seek if I were to remarry, would be considering applying for a grant that would aid in assistance in organizing my wedding. I would also seek the music industry, to have a famous music artist sing and perform at my wedding. I also would get a wedding organizer involved with help for decorating my wedding, with the color hues and designs that I would provide her with.
I still wouldn't look for help, but I would not go to the courthouse again. I did that for my first and next time it will be on a beach or in a beautiful spot.
The question appears like it may be incomplete. If I'm looking for help in a partner he definitely needs to be employed. My first marriage he got laid off every winter because of weather and he wouldn't look for another job until it was time for him to go back to his regular job. I would look for someone who isn't looking for a maid or a cook. I don't mind doing some of that stuff but it can't be just me. I think just definitely someone that can help contribute financially and that sounds very businesslike but it actually is a problem with finding a partner nowadays. I want somebody who isn't looking for traditional roles because we have moved Way Beyond that. I want someone who is going to help with everything. If this is about a wedding I would probably have a very simple wedding because I don't think second marriages should have big huge ceremonies. I don't know that I would need any help with that so I'm not sure I don't think that would be what you're asking. It would definitely be an off the rack dress go out to dinner somewhere that kind of thing.
I'm not sure what you mean by "help" for sure, but I will do my best. I guess I would look for someone who is supportive of what I want to do. I would want them to do their share of the cooking and housework, as I would do. I would look for them to provide another perspective on life choices, but also know when to let me make decisions on my own. I might want them to also help making financial choices and to sometimes help paying the bills. By paying the bills, I mean the act of paying them, not necessarily where the money comes from. I would hope that we would try to not conform to gender rolls and do all tasks equally. For instance, we might take turns mowing the lawn and also cooking. This would help either of us stay away from burnout.
If I was to remarry I would likely see a counselor on my own on how to deal with issues that arise. That would be the most important type of help I would need. I found a lot of fault with my last spouse. I don't think it was all on me as my spouse was not a good person and the marriage felt one sided. There were little things, though, that I would have liked help with. Had it been another person I would have liked to have been able to speak to a counselor or therapist on my own so to get help to at least try to deal with the issues in my marriage. I think in a marriage with issues it is important to take care of yourself at the same time as taking care of your marriage and I know now that it difficult, if not impossible, to do. A therapist or counselor would have been a great help for me, even if my marriage had ultimately dissolved anyway. Going into a second marriage I would likely seek out help in that form before making a marriage commitment a second time.
If I were to remarry, I would want a very communicative spouse. I appreciate communication and open talks so this would be necessary for me to consider getting remarried. I would want my new husband to feel that he wants to contribute to the household chores and I enjoy a man who likes to cook. I would appreciate it is the new husband would share in the role of cooking for the family instead of expecting me to do it all. I don't mind so much if he doesn't help with cleaning but I would like him to help with preparing and planning meals.
If I were to remarry I would look for a partner to provide emotional comfort and financial support in a way that would benefit both of us better if we were to marry rather than stay single. The benefits of marriage would be cheaper rates on insurance and certain tax cuts that benefit married couples. We could better support a household on double income instead of one with the rising costs of living. Have someone to be there for medical needs when one is sick. Have someone to be there for emotional support and needs when times are tough and you need someone closer than a friend to talk to and comfort you.Help with maintaining home repairs and general living maintenance.
My ex's never helped in the kitchen. I would love it if they would cook and clean so I don't have to do it all. Throw in a load of laundry sometime... play with the kids. Really just help around the house so I can get a break too. Also, I love to travel so that is a total must.
If we are being honest, I've already remarried twice so I am working on my third. However the person I am with now is pretty much exactly who I needed. I wanted someone who has already experienced the ups and downs of marriage so they know that it is not all sunshine and roses. I needed someone who could not run at the first sign of struggle or having to make life changes for each other in order to give each other the best life possible. The kind of person who is willing to give up something important to help the other, but also would never want to have to ask for the sacrifice to happen in the first place. Knowing that a person is that willing to care for you in that way is sometimes enough.Also, I would be sure that our future life goals are in line with each other. Whether or not we wanted kids (or more kids), ideas for life in retirement, places we would want to visit, things like that. And also, would they be willing to share in something with me that may not be their favorite thing, but that doing it with me would be enough enticement to come along? Because that is something I would do for them as well.
If I were to remarry I would look for financial help from my partner, a willingness to share in all things family oriented to insure a sucessfull marriege.
The kind of help I would look for to plan for the wedding would include a professional wedding planner. My first wedding was completely planned by me and carried out with the help of bridesmaids. This time I'd like the wedding of my dreams and that is something that I'd definitely need expert help with that.
The question is very vague. I am going under the assumption of help from that person. I would want a person who would be encouraging and supportive. Someone who would acknowledge and accept that it is a partnership, but not assign percentages as to what each person contributes. For example I make 20 % more than you therefore; my opinion matters more in purchases, etc.
I'd want an equal partner who makes their own money and is a success in their own right. I wouldn't want them to parent my kids but I would hope they'd have similar phylosophy and support my decisions. I'd want my next husband to be more of a leader and be faithful and loving. I'd want to rent out my home and have us rent it out together and work on the business needs together as well. I'd want someone to relieve me of all my responsibility in life and just be there to give me breaks.
If I were to remarry to another woman since I a, currently divorced and also I am disabled and have to use a wheelchair I would love the most to have a partner that I could depend on and help me raise my children since I am a single father of 3 kids but also, more importantly, I would wish for someone who could accept me for who I am and my situation and help me just do day to day task and other things that are so hard for me to do as I work almost every day so in other words, someone that could help lighten the load so to speak and that's what id want the most if I was to remarry.
Legal advice if there were financial issues during the first marriage to protect myself. I would look for a wedding planner to smooth out the ceremony and details for the wedding. I would also get pre-marriage counseling.
Regarding the kind of help I would look for in my second spouse, I would want them to help with bills, paying half of the bills. Also, I would want them to help me with cleaning up around the house.
Help getting my financial picture set up. I want most of my money going to my kids, not my new spouse.
I would have to be deeply in love in order to remarry. I am not sure if that will happen. I don't really trust others any longer. Hypothetically, the relationship would have to very equal. Not one person earning more than the other. Help would have to come in the sense of everything being split 50/50. Mutual respect for each other.
She would need to be archetypically opposite of me. She would ideally have similar ideals and ethics, but she would go about communicating and doing this in a very unorthodox way compared to myself. This way, she will likely fill in holes where I am not the strongest character personality wise.
If I were to remarry I would want someone who was a true partner with whom I would share all the joys and responsibilities of life. We would have enough things in common to enjoy together with a few difference to introduce each other to. He would not expect me to deal with all the household responsibilities, but we would share in those as we would in making important decisions.
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