Which One Won? Writing headlines for the web

How do you find the right way to market and present your product for sale? What is the most important value proposition you can offer customers? Writing headlines for the web is one of the most difficult exercises an online business undertakes — but also one of the most essential.

Customers react to words and phrases in ways you might not expect. That’s why it’s critical to do market research, just like in this PickFu poll.

An online telemedicine pharmacy retailer wants to see which headline resonates with 50 women. Each woman in the respondent pool has children, is between the ages of 35 and 74, and self-identifies as a wine drinker.

Option A reads, “Hair skin and eyelash solutions without going to a doctor’s office.

Option B reads, “Hair skin and eylash [sic] solutions online and delivered to your door.”

Can you guess which one won?

Which One Won?

Both headlines are similarly structured, emphasizing the hair, skin, and eyelash solutions (though Option B contained a typo). The difference lay in the value statement — not having to go to a doctor’s office (Option A) and delivered to your door (Option B). By a 2-to-1 margin, Option B won the poll.

More women favored the idea of solutions delivered to their door than the idea of not having to go to a doctor’s office. Let’s examine some of their comments to see why:

  • “Delivered to my door lets me know I don’t have to go anywhere at all. That I have the convenience to stay in my home and still get the products I want.”
  • “I chose [Option] B because I don’t think an online telemedicine-pharmacy should be telling people they don’t need to go to a doctor’s office.”
  • “I like Option B because it was specific about its provision of services – online and delivery – without me having to dig for more information about exactly how I was going to get Hair/skin/eyelash solutions without having to go to a doctor’s office. People are always looking to save time and money or increase the value/quality of how their time and money are spent. Option B makes it clear how their ‘solutions’ can specifically serve their customer. Option A could have the ‘solutions provided through reading a book/literature or some other means.”
  • “I don’t like the mention of not having to go to a doctor in Option A because it makes it seem illegitimate or like it won’t be as effective. Option B gets to the point better about the immediate benefit it gives me in being able to get the products I want when I want it.

When writing headlines for the web, remember to get outside input

In this PickFu poll, many respondents voiced concern about the legitimacy of a solution that doesn’t require a doctor’s visit. It’s invaluable to identify red flags like these before launching headfirst into a new product or campaign.

Are you deciding which headline to use? Create your own PickFu poll with a group of respondents that match your target audience. Need help getting started? Learn how PickFu works.


Learn More:Startups, businesses, and entrepreneurs use PickFu to test business names, business ideas, logos, marketing copy, and website designs.

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